I cried so much until I wanted to throw up, I have experienced sad things before but nothing like this. I then remembered all the times I had cried and it seemed crazy to have even cried over such petty things.
Pain is different for everyone. I don’t think I know how everyone else has ever felt but it gave me a new perspective.
People also deal with things differently, for me, I always want to be by myself. I’m thankful for everyone that rallied beside me. My friends said they were scared of me which is not surprising, I’m aware of my ability to be intimidating on the occasion. I’m thankful they still braved the storm.
I’m thankful for the gift of life because suddenly every bad thing paled in comparison to not having life.
I’m thankful for His sons. The Sunday before, AJS taught on “Beauty for Ashes.” I thought it was a very good sermon but you know when you can’t relate. I saw it later as God sending His comfort ahead when I didn’t even know I would need it. I’ve since relistened. That morning, PI suddenly showed up on the prayer platform which he said he had no intention of coming to and I myself hadn’t joined in weeks. He said what the enemy meant for evil, God had turned around. I said amen. I thought it would mean this would pass but I see now that victory was established that day, not just the way I expected it.
I’m thankful for family, I felt closer than ever. I send hugs to people who have experienced loss. I have no words, only prayers. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 KJV[3] Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; [4] who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
I am thankful for God. On Sunday that week, Moses Akoh sang the song ‘Firm Foundation’ and although I had heard it a thousand times, I heard God’s voice in the lyrics. “Cause I’ve built my life on Jesus.” In that moment, I couldn’t have been more grateful. The storm came, the wave crashed violently against me, the clouds were dark and bleak. But. I had built my life on Jesus. I felt precariously close to edge, but nothing was ever going to make me fall.
“You’re a good, good Father,
It’s who you are, It’s who you are,
And I’m loved by you,It’s who I am, it’s who I am.
And you are perfect in all of your ways,
You are perfect in all of your ways
To us.”