Healing

Traumas are real, pains are real but so is the reality of healing. I sat together with a group of friends a while back and we discussed some of the most horrible things we had ever been through. As I listened to these women, my heart ached at the unfairness life could show sometimes but in the middle of contemplating this thought, I realised something, they were all okay.

Yes, life had been cruel and yes, I was reminded of how dark humans could be but again I saw how light always shone at the end of every dark tunnel. It’s so possible to be okay despite the very worst of experiences and I think it’s so cool. It’s so cool not because bad things happen but because no matter how hard it tries, darkness could never overcome good. My friends had faced harrowing situations and yet they spoke of forgiveness and even life lessons they had learnt, I was in awe.

I remember when a close family member hurt me and I could immediately feel myself forgiving. A part of me was angry with myself because I didn’t understand why I forgave so easily. Surely, I should be angrier but I couldn’t even muster enough strength to be angry, it was just so easy to let go. Did it hurt? Yep. Does it still hurt? A little. But as I said, the reality of healing is outstanding and it is amazing how things can really turn around even when we may not realise it.

I don’t know how or when but healing really does happen. Granted, it may take longer for some people but eventually we find ourselves standing down the line and realising that we have come further than we thought possible. However, healing while unintentional is also an intentional act. It requires openness, willingness and an understanding of the fact that the past is exactly that, the past.

Life is this never ending, sprawled out and interwoven ball of events. We are shaped and touched in ways that we ourselves don’t choose, we are also challenged and pushed more than we would like. In all this, we have to realise that no matter how hard life pushes us, we still get to choose what defines us. Think of your pain and trauma, it may still hurt, but you don’t want to carry that with you forever. What you want, is healing.

What then is healing? It is simply returning back to your original state. It is a state of peace that transcends understanding, joy unspeakable and hope rooted beyond all hope. Healing is a process; it starts with being gentle with yourself and knowing that you may still struggle sometimes. It also involves self-evaluation and being honest with yourself and your healing level. It also involves small steps and knowing who to lean on and a word you may not like, vulnerability. You can trust people and you can trust God. If we must grow, we have to be willing to open up ourselves to people and new experiences that are beyond our comfort level. If being vulnerable feels uncomfortable, it may be a good sign of healing because growth involves expanding beyond an original state.

You want to be defined by your healing and your growth, you want to live in the present with hope for the future and not in your past. Healing doesn’t mean you forget, after all that is why we have scars and that is why my friends had to share their stories. What it means is that the pain and trauma are not your reality anymore, it means you get to the point where you want more from life and so you refuse to live a defeated life.

Today, can you make the choice to allow healing be your reality, choose to transcend above the overwhelming excesses of life. I hope you choose your healing and forever remember that you are more than your pain and trauma. I’m rooting for you even as I continue to root for myself too.