Sometimes when I am shabbily dressed and my hair is a mess that is when I feel I should meet my soul mate. This, I’m sure, must be an unpopular opinion but give me a chance to explain the reason behind this logic. I feel like I want to get the worst out of the way first because if you can somehow fall in love with me at my lowest then we can get passed anything and we can have a strong foundation. I will dress cute now and then and I care deeply about my hair but what of those moments when I’m just not feeling it. This brings me to Timothy Keller’s quote.
I believe there is a deep need in all of us to be accepted for who we are and even more than that, we want to be loved for it. Now I’m not suggesting that we do not improve in areas where there are obvious rooms for improvement, rather I’m talking about those aspects that are intrinsically part of who we are and parts of ourselves that we love.
When we don’t get that kind of love we are left feeling inadequate, insecure, and just plain out sad. Sometimes our ego is so bruised that resentment, for the person who hurt us and even for ourselves, builds up and it may make it hard to allow anybody else to come close. But are unrealistic expectations not too heavy a burden to place on anyone? No doubt some people are just flat out horrible at being partners and they just want us to conform into their perfect image instead of developing healthy compromises. However, I think it’s only rational to recognize that even a perfect person, who by the way does not exist, will fall short of accepting everything about us.
Now then is there any hope of this perfect, absolute and eternal love? Of course there is because if there wasn’t, our souls wouldn’t so desperately long for it. It doesn’t make the love between you and your partner any less real because they do not totally get everything about you. It is more than enough that they love you with all their human capabilities and accept even the parts of you they do not understand. This is the most genuine love a human being is capable of.
Where then can we find this all-encompassing and consuming love? From Love itself of course. What do I mean? The bible says absolutely that God is Love (1 John 4:8) and so it only makes sense that He only is capable of loving us in the way that satisfies our deepest desires. The thing that is so cool about God and makes it so easy to be in a relationship with Him is the fact that He knows ALL of who we are and yet He still loves us absolutely, eternally. God says that He searches the heart and so you can imagine, somebody who knows the worst things you’ve ever thought about, including about Him, and yet somehow, He loves you anyway.
God sees us and knows us in ways that sometimes we don’t want to be seen and yet He accepts us without trying to pressure us to change or be someone else. Instead He calls us into a deeper relationship with Him because He knows that’s the only way we’ll ever become people that can look at ourselves in the mirror and not be disgusted. God sees beyond our shabby clothes and messy hair, He sees the shabbiness of our attitudes and messiness of our choices and yet He loves us so much that our human minds cannot comprehend and may even want to doubt.
For me, a person who can know me on my worst days and still love me because they know the real me or the me I’m trying to become, and still accept me, that is the deepest desire of my heart. Now to imagine a God who sees all the messed up and undeserving parts of me and still He shows up for me and even blesses me every day, that’s more than I could ever ask for.
My hope for you reading this is that, beyond the most genuine love a human being could ever have for you, you would experience that absolute and eternal love that can only come from a God who knows you inside out. This is important because if you don’t accept and feel the love God has for you, nobody’s love will ever be enough for you no matter how great they are. Remember, only a perfect God can love an imperfect you. It makes sense.