Love is Hard; Here’s why you should still try it

Love is hard. Anyone that knows me knows I’m not a pessimist. I see life through the most rose-tinted glasses there is, in my world everything is sunshine, butterflies and flowers. So when I say love is hard, I’m not saying it in a negative way or speaking wrongly into the atmosphere. I’m not saying we should not experience soft love because I am an advocate of soft love and non-toxic situations. But when I say love is hard it’s because love is a choice and sometimes choices can be difficult in the face of alternatives.

I recently attended an event centred around growth and empowerment in our lives and careers. It was question time and a lady asked our host whether she would ever get her ambition and drive for life back. She had lost a parent recently and the other was ill and as the first child, she had to bare the responsibility for her younger siblings. She said she found herself not caring about fulfilling any dreams or pursuing goals, she just wanted to handle her responsibilities. It was a room of young people looking to accomplish big things, everyone was heartbroken for her. The host assured her that she would get her drive back, life was in seasons, she would overcome the one she was in now. There was hugging and tears, it was a really nice moment for us.

Her story inspired today’s post because I began to think of what loving people could mean sometimes. Love is hard because it demands sacrifice when you rather be selfish. Love is hard because it demands commitment when you rather just do your own thing. Love is hard because it demands intentionally rekindling passion in the face of boredom. Love is hard because it wants you to find pleasure in it even in the midst of distractions.

I thought of the purest example of love in the world, what Jesus did for us on the cross. He loved us, there was no doubt but love demanded something that was really hard. The most amazing thing is that He chose this hard thing. Scriptures tell us that for the joy set before Him, He chose the cross, disregarding the shame.

Jesus shows me that sometimes love can demand really hard things but for the right person, it is totally worth it. The cool thing is we are all the right person for Him. For us the right person could be our parents, siblings, friends or a significant other. As part of wedding vows, couples agree to love for better, for worse. Nobody wants worse of course but either way, when making those promises, you have to mean it.

I’ve experienced this love that demands hard things. Parents and siblings sacrificing for me, friends committing to me, people choosing me. I’ve also been privileged to participate in the love that demands hard things. Soft love is someone choosing you over and over again, it is making space for you, it is seeing your best even on bad days. Soft love sometimes means hard choices and that isn’t a bad thing. True love will mean putting others first sometimes and it is hard because the human heart likes to look out for itself.

Love is the joy set before you even in the hardness. It is why parents can sacrifice for their children, the joy of them becoming someone great, it is why lovers can travel thousands of miles just to see their beloved, it is why a lady can choose responsibility to her family instead of following her dreams for a season.

So maybe love isn’t hard, it just tends to demand hard things sometimes. Either way, I recommend love for everyone. Life is empty without the joy that only love can give.

Photo credit: Tyler Nix on Unsplash