Dear Natural Hair,

I tease my older sister relentlessly about the big declarations she often makes about her hair. She could just wake up one morning and text me “I’m never making xxx hairstyle again. For the rest of my life!” I tease her because I know it isn’t true. I have seen my sister make these different declarations over and over again and every time she eventually does what she says she would never do. So, when she makes statements like that, I tell her she’s going to change her mind and she vehemently insists that she isn’t, and guess what? She does change her mind, every single time.

I, on the other hand, never make declarations like that. My philosophy is, it’s better not to make promises than to make promises you cannot keep. But there was a promise I made that I was sure I could keep, turns out like my sister, I had a change of heart.

Natural hair became a ‘thing’ when I was in university. Before then, the only people I knew who carried their natural hair were women whose churches didn’t believe in using relaxers. I had a friend who was into the natural hair life when I got to university. Frankly, I didn’t get it because natural hair was painful and expensive to maintain. My friend however loved her hair! Before then I don’t think I knew anyone who loved hair that much. She would dote on the hair and watch tutorials on hair and pack it into different cool styles. I mean, I was happy for her and supported her, but I just didn’t get it.

Natural hair was something I was convinced just wasn’t for me. It hurt way too much for my pain level and I didn’t like leaving my hair out all that much preferring to use wigs or put in braids. Fast forward to after I graduated university, I decided to cut my hair, I mean all of it, a ‘big chop’ if you will. There wasn’t any particular reason other than I had been thinking about it for years and I felt I wanted to do something radical to mark my graduation from university.

Even after I cut my hair, I still wasn’t thinking about going natural. I just wanted my hair to grow out a bit before I would relax it since I heard relaxers could stunt hair growth at that beginning stage. I don’t know when it began to happen but I suddenly began to fall in love with my natural hair, all 4inches of it. My younger sister was a naturalist (a person who rocks their natural hair) and trust me, she was so devoted to her hair too and I really admired her. I was also thinking about how it was God that gave us this kind of hair which means He must have also given us what it takes to maintain it!

Maybe it’s the combination of many things but I looked at myself one day and said maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I kept my natural hair a little while longer. I mean this was me who had scoffed at the whole natural hair movement and vowed never to be part of it, now making a decision to keep my natural hair. For the first time ever, I finally got it, I finally understood what my friend felt all those years ago.

At the same time, I don’t get it. What is it about women and our hair? Why do we have such a strong connection to it? Why does it invoke such strong emotions in us? As a child growing up in church, I learned that hair was the woman’s glory. I didn’t really understand it and I’m not sure I still do. But I guess the answer for me is that our hair is just another gift God has given us to love and nurture as is our nature to do with everything around us. I’m grateful for the gift of hair because it is such a big thing. For African women especially, I believe, we use hair to express our different personalities from colour to style. I mean, what a beautiful thing indeed. When I had relaxed hair, I loved it too. I mean, it is still my natural hair just with products in it, but I’m glad to be going natural now. It gives me an opportunity for greater expression, I can even braid cornrows by myself now! Thank you, Lord, for the gift of hair, I don’t totally get it but still, I’m grateful.